Can you remember the feeling the first time you came across a magnificent sight like the ocean, the mountains, Yosemite’s granite-walled valley, the Grand Canyon, Lake Tahoe, a redwood forest, or the night sky from high elevation at new moon? When we see such things, we feel awe. Sometimes we don’t really have words to describe what we’re seeing and feeling. We feel overwhelmed by the experience. We just want to stare awhile and take it all in. We take a photo, but they never do it justice.
Think of that kind of experience and try to imagine amplifying it by a factor of 100 or 1000. We’re talking about a mind-blowing event in life. There is a Japanese word for this phenomenon that doesn’t happen to everybody: Satori. Satori refers to experiences where the veil of reality is pulled back and we see things as they really are. Some in the Christian tradition calls this a unitive vision from a liminal space. When someone has such an experience, they are altered.
I think Jesus had such an experience. Maybe it was his baptism, since all four Gospel accounts remember it as a moment when the Holy Spirit anointed him – like a dove, the symbol of peace – and God was understood to have said, “This is my son, in whom I am pleased.” After this, according to some of the Gospel accounts, he went into the wilderness. I think he had a satori and it blew his mind. He needed to break away and think about it for a minute.
The Apostle Paul, one of the greatest champions of the Way of Jesus, responsible for taking the Good News from Israel to Rome and also given credit for 2/3 of the New Testament writings, wasn’t always a fan of Jesus. Just the opposite. We are first introduced to Paul at the martyrdom of Stephen, who was stoned to death for his proclamation of Jesus as the anointed one whom everyone should follow. Paul – known at that time as Saul (the Hebrew version of his Greek name), oversaw the coat check room. He stood by guarding everyone’s garments so that they could more effectively throw rocks at a man whose crime was to challenge orthodoxy.
Saul was extremely intelligent. He was trained by the best a brightest and was on his way to Jewish Super Stardom. He was zealous for God and Judaism – so much so that he is remembered for gaining letters of authority to extradite Jesus followers back to Jerusalem for trial, which would likely lead to their torture, imprisonment, death, or all three. On his way to the ancient city of Damascus (which still stands today) he experienced a massive satori. A brilliant, blinding light stopped him in his tracks (see Acts 9:1-19). He heard a voice come from the light claiming to be Jesus – the one who caused all the trouble. The voice gave him marching orders, which Saul obediently followed. This experience radically altered Saul, who eventually changed his name to Paul to relate better to a Greek audience.
The before and after pictures of Paul could not be starker. Before, he was a zealous legalist who demanded strict conformity to the Jewish Law – all 613 of them – which at one point Paul would claim to be blameless of ever violating even one of them. Jesus – who lived 10-15 years before Paul’s conversion – was clearly apostate since he challenged orthodox positions of Judaism and was guilty of violating (and challenging) the sabbath. His teaching and behavior were so egregious that it prompted Jewish leaders to orchestrate his arrest and execution – better to kill one instead of many was their thinking. In an instant, Paul became the greatest apologist, evangelist, and theologian for the Jesus movement. He spent the rest of his life promoting Jesus, even though it at times resulted in being tortured, imprisoned, impoverished, and eventually martyred. Inquiring minds want to know – what the heck happened in that satori to have such an impact?
That’s actually what satoris do. When people get a true glimpse of “heaven”, they can’t unsee it. It alters their view of everything in an instant. Such experiences really cannot be described – they defy description. Do you know what happened when Teddy Roosevelt sent paintings of Yosemite Valley back to Washington for them to consider it for protection? They refused to believe the paintings were acurate! They questioned the validity of what they were seeing! Why? Because who had ever heard of a 3,000-foot wall of granite, or a 2,425 foot waterfall, in a valley which has more waterfalls (in the Spring) than any other place on earth? Who could make sense of Half Dome? The Sentinels? It is an unbelievable sight. Satoris are all of that times 100 or 1000.
While the specific experiences people have when they have such visions, there are some similarities, which I think is fascinating. Two things in particular stand out to me. First, people see the world differently. They see the interconnectedness of everything. It is apparently overwhelming in its beauty and complexity. Such experiences foster a view of the creation where it is seen not as dangerous, frightening, and meaningless, but safe, enticing, and alive (SEA). They see the SEA. One example that might help us understand what is seen is the reality of fractals in creation – repeated patterns that show up at all levels and in many things – maybe everything. Patterns of connectedness. People who experience satori come away seeing themselves, everyone, and everything as interconnected. We are one. There is one final error that Beck points out related to this: “the belief that there has ever been any distinction between the separate scraps of matter we imagine we are, and the all-inclusive truth that extends beyond anything we can conceive. When we fully dissolve the lie of being isolated within ourselves, we join Dante and everyone else, everything else. We forget ourselves as small, doomed beings on a threatened planet and remember ourselves as “the love that moves the sun and the other stars.” Because we are connected and inherently joined by love, we naturally see others and creation itself as precious, and worthy of honor and respect. We also recognize that since we are connected, what we do matters – we affect everything one way or another, for good or not so good.
This brings me to the second thing that jumped out at me about people who experience satori. The result of the experience is compassion. They do not emerge from such unitive vision caring less about others and instead choose to become more self-absorbed to the neglect of others. Just the opposite. When people see “heaven” they care more and do more for people and all of creation. They set out to do healing work. Often, according to Beck, what they do with their compassion is related in some way to their integrity, their true selves, which is connected to who they are as historical people – people with history. Our healing work matches our true nature. Where to go to find people to heal? Where healing is needed, which takes them back into the Dark Wood of Error to help those who are struggling to find their way out. Devoting themselves to such healing work brings peace wherever we go, a peace that is our true home. The Jewish tradition had a word for this kind of peace: shalom. That Hebrew word is what Jesus talked about referring to salvation and the Kingdom of God – they are both about bringing deep peace into the world.
How did Jesus’ satori affect him? Most likely, before his experience, he was aligned with the message John the Baptist was preaching. Jesus was technically a Pharisee. He was spiritual, believing that there is more going on in the world than simply mechanics and biology, that God is active in some way. And he believed in keeping the Law to maintain favor with God. John’s message was to get our houses in order for the coming Messiah who was going to deliver Israel from the bondage of Rome in ways similar to what happened with Pharaoh in Egypt. Jesus came to John to be baptized, a sign of his agreement with that message. We do not have any evidence from Jesus’ life to suggest that he thought any differently than John as he went into the water. We have conflicting evidence that John thought of Jesus any differently when he approached. Something happened either immediately before and/or during and after the baptism: John recognized the anointing was taking place. I believe a satori happened for Jesus at that moment that was so powerful he had to break away for a while to process it. When he returned, his message was quite different than John’s, and quite different than what Jesus may have thought before. Jesus didn’t come out of his retreat talking about hellfire and the end of the world – he did not preach a worldview that sees everything as dangerous, frightening, or meaningless. Instead, Jesus came back valuing those who were most vulnerable, who had been told they had little value and were perhaps cursed by God. He came back with an expansive and inclusive view of God, where God is known by love and grace (and related justice) and not wrath. Jesus was changed by heaven.
But what about Paul? Saul entrusted his life to the very “enemy” he was out to arrest. Ananias was a Jesus follower who God told to help Saul after his satori. The fact that Saul trusted Ananias with his life speaks volumes. But maybe that was out of sheer panic. What else can we look at to help us understand just how powerful this change was? Instead of maintaining his course trying to eliminate Jesus followers, he almost immediately became one of their most vocal champions. Unimpressed? Imagine how startling it would be to hear that Matthew Gaetz , extreme-right Republican congressman from Florida, became a staunch advocate for Bernie Sanders overnight. Or vice-a-versa. Unthinkable! Yet that’s what happened. Furthermore, Saul mostly went by Saul, his Hebrew name, because he identified first and foremost as a Jewish man. Yet in due time, he exclusively went by Paul to gain familiarity with Gentiles. What about his theology? Paul was a conservative theologian – near Zealot-like in his passion. At one point he bragged about how exceptional he was:
Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more!
I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.
I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! Philippians 3:4-11 NLT
Paul shifted from reliance on the Law to reliance on faith in the very Christ he wanted to snuff out! Holy Cow! He even convinced the fledgling Christian leadership in Jerusalem to pare down the Jewish Law to just two – including the elimination of circumcision! HOLY COW! But what about Paul’s life, what changed there? Paul shifted from persecutor to persecuted, taking whatever licks came to him for proclaiming the Way of Jesus Christ, leading eventually to his own martyrdom. When we get a glimpse of what we call heaven, our vision changes, our beliefs change, our priorities change, and our hearts move us to care for others at great personal cost. They are conduits for great peace in the world because that’s where their home is. They cannot not be agents of shalom.
Martha Beck has not had a satori. Yet she has learned from those who have that living in integrity – becoming our True Selves – leads us to be shalom bearers. She has discovered that the greatest use of her life is to serve others. When she does, she finds herself in peace, at home.
Want to experience more heaven in your life? You may at some point have a satori. But don’t count on it. Instead, seek the things that Jesus and Heaven are all about – shalom. When you do, in alignment with truth, we find ourselves at home, too. In shalom.