Happiness and Joy. I have met people who are happy but not joyful. I have met people who have discovered that they can be joyful even though they’re not happy. I have met people who are happy and joyful. I have also known people who know not happiness or joy – they are to be empathized with the most, because they are truly, deeply miserable. When we think about Mary the mother of Jesus, we find in her a person who discovered deep abiding joy even though happiness tended to come and go.
Happy but not joyful people are a dime a dozen. Momentary is a word that comes to mind when I think of happiness. We can be caught up in happiness for a period of time – sometimes only a flash, sometimes lasting awhile. For some people, happiness is as easy as a good parking space during the Christmas season at any store. I have thanked my “Parking Jesus” many times in my life when, Lo and Behold, a space seemed to appear from the heavens just for me. Sometimes it’s a Frappuccino. Or a homemade scone. Or a kind word. Or a Giants or A’s or Sharks or Warriors or 49’ers or Chiefs win. Or a Dodgers loss. Or a feel-good Christmas movie we can get lost in for a couple of hours for the hundredth time. Or a good conversation or date or party or work review. It’s a long list of things that can make people happy. What’s on your list?
Most of the things on that list don’t last for long. The Frappuccino for me is gone in five minutes, regardless of size. It’s just physics, I guess. The win, the parking space, the review, the movie, the new toy – the buzz usually fades pretty fast.
I have known people who have neither happiness or joy. They are often more miserable than most because nothing will make them happy even for a moment -not even a puppy or kitten! – and worse, they do not know or have lost sight or connection to the source of joy. Joy is bedrock. Without it, we are left with shifting sand that cannot support happiness for very long.
Happiness and joy are not the same thing. Joy is deeper, a foundation that is strong enough to build life upon, to get us through hard times when happiness cannot be bought or won or found or watched. Believe it or not, I have known people who have been joyful even when also in great sorrow. They aren’t bouncing around like Tigger. They aren’t smiling. They may be weeping. Yet they – paradoxically – are also joyful. Something deeper is operating in their lives that holds them and strengthens them. I see that at times of death, when a loved one has passed on. A person can be filled with grief and loss yet have joy at the same time – for the time and life shared and for the confidence that life is more than flesh and bones and neurons and synapses. I have even met people on their literal deathbed who smile, not in denial of their looming death, but because joy runs deeper. As a pastor I get a front row seat on such things. I am not kidding here – I have known several people dying painful deaths who were joyful even as they cringed.
I think Mary knew joy that runs deep. I think she discovered it by the very good news that was also very bad news. The bad news? She was going to have an unplanned – and to some degree, on some days more than others, unwanted – pregnancy. She went to visit her cousin Elizabeth for a reason – to get out of Dodge! She needed time and space to breathe, to prepare for what was to come while she could hide it in the company of safe people. But she couldn’t stay with Elizabeth forever. She had to face life ahead, which included her parents, her friends, her village, and her fiancé. None of them would be initially supportive or believing. That’s what makes her Magnificat so magnificent! Here she is, in a terrible, terrifying, unhappy predicament, yet she expresses joy.
Where does her joy come from? The good/bad news itself. “You’re going to be with child, Mary, and not in the usual way. I know that’s bad news, really bad news, in fact, but that’s what’s coming. God is in it, though, so keep faith and reflect on what a blessing you are receiving – bringing a life into the world that will radically change everything. So, Keep Calm and Carry On, Good Luck and all that. We’ll be in touch...”
Pixar put out an animated movie years ago called Monsters, Inc., telling the story of two buddies trying to do their best to scare enough humans to keep the lights on. Mike, voiced by Billy Crystal, was the much-less-scary sidekick to Sully, voiced by John Goodman. When Sully and Mike would get some positive press, the focus was always on Sully, with Mike’s image likely obscured or covered up by something, leaving barely any evidence of his presence. The gag, however, was that when Mike would see the publication, instead of being upset that he wasn’t more prominently featured, he lit up with delight because he made the front page.
Mary recognized something in the “invitation” that carried deep, joyful meaning. She was being addressed by God, invited by God, valued by God, celebrated by God, blessed by God. Whatever bad news was inherent was eclipsed by profound, easy-to-miss-in-our-era good news. Mary was a peasant girl, born to peasants, with no hope for being more than a peasant. Don’t get too excited about her lineage, either. One thousand years since he lived, the Davidic line was about as impressive as saying that you’re a direct descendent of Adam. Not much of a pride point (although perhaps that’s not altogether true? More on that later...). Her future included an arranged marriage that was already in place, children that came with a high mortality rate (for mothers, too), being treated like property with no official power. Maybe she would live into her 30’s. No hope for formal education or a job or respect. That’s her basepoint. That’s why the news carried so much joy. The invitation itself spoke volumes. She mattered. To God. Forever. God who is eternal and unshakable. God who is ultimate reality. Source of life and all that. Holder of whatever comes after this life. That God spoke value to her, which is why she says the things she does in her Magnificat. She got the message loud and clear. The message may have been unhappy, but it was deeply joyful. She mattered.
It turns out that this message was one that Jesus came to bring to Mary types everywhere. “God loves human beings and is with them” was revolutionary thinking. Theologically there was precedent in the Jewish tradition, but in popular thought it was easy to miss. Still is. People today can be overwhelmed by the messages of the culture, their family, their significant others, their workplace, the images in popular media, their bank account, their zip code, and on and on that tell them they are less than what they hoped. Some people tell themselves the destructive, deceitful message that denies the Gospel. So let me tell you plainly. You are pregnant. Pregnant with the Spirit of God that is forever part of you. Pregnant with possibility even if you’ve had a hard life. You are inherently valuable, meaning that your core value as a human being cannot be minimized. Being related to Adam and Eve turns out to be quite a declaration. We may be dirt clods, but we are God-breathed into life! This is cause for unshakable joy even when life is hard.
When we center on that, we can get through most anything. When we lose sight of it, happiness is fleeting. Henri Nouwen notes that “Joy is the experience of knowing that you are unconditionally loved and that nothing - sickness, failure, emotional distress, oppression, war, or even death — can take that love away.” Thus, joy and sorrow can not only coexist; joy can even be found during sorrowful circumstances.
How are you seeing yourself today, Mary? How is your vision of yourself limiting or buoying or propelling your life? How are you viewing others? Are there people that are easy for you to recognize as modern Marys? Are there people who aren’t so easy to see for their inherent worth? How are you treating them? Could it be that the way we interact with people influences how they see themselves just like our own self-talk influences ourselves?
I hope you have a Happy Christmas. Much more than that, I hope you are able to tap into the Joy to the World, because the Lord has come, is in you, and is inviting you forward into unshakable, joy filled life.