1. Lower expectations of everyone right now, and practice radical self-acceptance. In your current situation, you cannot fail – there is no roadmap, no precedent, and we’re all doing the best we individually can to manage.
2. Try to maintain a routine: sleep/wake times and a loose knit schedule but give yourself tremendous grace in the keeping of it. Dress for the day. Wear clothes that improve your mood.
3. Set limits for yourself regarding work, with the exception of emergencies. You, too, are experiencing the Pandemic. You may feel disoriented, or out of focus. This is normal. Slow your daily work down as you seek and find equilibrium in this crisis.
4. Develop a self-care toolkit. This can look different for everyone… a soft blanket, photos of vacation, comforting music, scented oil, a journal, an inspiring book. For children, help them create their own first aid kit for being sad, or angry, or scared or overwhelmed. A bin, or shoebox that they can decorate. Put bubbles for blowing (breathing regulation), a stuffed animal, snacks, a coloring book, paints and paper.
5. Get out/get exercise 30 minutes a day.
6. Have everyone find their own ‘retreat’ space. With children, find a space, and make it cozy for them to go when they feel stressed. (Tents or forts) You find yours too. There are times I need to say, “I think I’ll take five…”
7. Expect behavioral issues with children. Respond gently. All of us are disrupted in routine, and routines constructed by others helps them feel safe, and know what will come next. Their anxiety will be increased by these disruptions and may manifest with fears, nightmares, testing limits and meltdowns. Do not introduce major behavioral plans or consequences at this time. Hold steady.
8. Focus on attachment. It’s easy to get caught up in deadlines, keeping a schedule, homeschooling children, keeping the household sterile. Focus on strengthening connection. Spend time following a child’s lead/play (they can’t say how they’re feeling, but they can playact it) Don’t be surprised to see themes of illness, doctor visits, or isolation play. This is cathartic to children. It’s how they process their world and problem solve. You can help them by your play.
9. Reach out to others. Set virtual playdates for your children.
10. Eat well, and stay hydrated.
11. Stay up with news about Covid-19, but be careful how much time you spend on it. Limit social media time to avoid raising anxiety. And be very careful how you speak to your children about it. Don’t let them overhear adult conversation. I found three places for positive news stories from around the globe. I’d be happy to send them to you, if you’d like. Let us know via email.
12. Find something you can control and control the heck out of it. Your corner of the world. Clean a closet, organize your bookshelves, organize your library. Sort out client files. It anchors us to here and now, not how bad things are out there.
13. Chunk down your quarantine. Morning/afternoon/evening. Take it hour by hour if you need to. I remember when I was operating in 15 minute increments.
14. Jewel box in the mind. Find the meaning or construction that can come out of destruction. Or what we can learn big and small from the crisis.
15. Notice the good in the world, and point it out to your family and friends, and especially your children and grandchildren.
16. Find lightness or humor each day. Funny pet videos, or standup comedy, or a funny movie. We need comic relief in our day – every day.
17. Radical acceptance of all of our emotions is the cornerstone to resilience
The more you suppress emotion, the greater control it has – it’s amplified internally
Own your feelings, discuss them
You can change your reaction to these emotions
18. Try something different and new during this time of different and new routines and realities (i.e., read a book you wouldn’t ordinarily pick up, discover a blog and consider creating your own, experiment with baking, cooking, watch a whole series on Netflix, etc.)
19. Give yourself and others the benefit of the doubt – buckets full of grace.