Throughout this series I have engaged issues highlighted in Brian McLaren’s book, Do I Stay Christian?  And there are many issues. Violence directly instructed or tacitly endorsed by Christian leaders amounting to literally millions of lives lost.  Rigidity regarding orthodoxy (dissenters were tortured and killed). Antisemitism. Politics.  Developing for so long, combined with our living at a time of unparalleled access to information and communication has resulted in an unprecedented number of people not just leaving the Church, but the faith the Church proclaims.  I have had many conversations with people who are spiritual but are so disgusted with how they see Christianity represented – as fear mongering, wrath threatening, bullying, power-driven – that they don’t want to bother trying.  Even if they believe in some of the fresh, life-giving ways of embracing Christianity, for them it is not enough knowing that most self-proclaimed Christians resemble what they can no longer tolerate.  For themselves.  For their children.  The problem is not going away.

     I can relate because I have wrestled with the same thing as a pastor.  I have had to defend alternative positions my entire adult life.  Creationism.  Biblical literalism steeped in an unbiblical notion of inerrancy and infallibility. Racism.  Interfaith marriage.  Interracial marriage.  Women in positions of authority over men. Politics.  Support of interfaith dialogue and cooperative service.  Human sexuality.  Same-gender marriage. Climate change.  I’ve been an ordained pastor since 1995.  There has never been a season when I have not had to deal with someone pushing back from a deeply conservative Christianity.  I appreciate the “feedback” and understand it.  Conservative Christianity has literally owned the majority of the airwaves, publishing houses, and Christian retail since the 1950’s.  Prior to the late 2000’s, unless people were willing to go to a theological library and pore over commentaries, articles and books, the information was nearly impossible to find.  No Christian bookstore had any titles except those which supported conservative Christianity.  No wonder, then, that when I talked about a different way of thinking it sounded like nonsense and perhaps heresy. I get it.

     I have mentioned in recent weeks that for years I have chosen not to wear a cross around my neck – a departure for me as I have worn one since 1990.  I couldn’t because I didn’t want to be identified with the distorted Christianity that was commanding the airwaves, headlines, and political vitriol.  A similar dynamic has happened regarding patriotic symbols like the flag.  I love this country and its aspirational goal to be a land of true equality and opportunity.  But the flag itself has been coopted by one facet of Americans that reflect a more nationalistic vision.  Sometimes, ironically, these same fellow citizens also fly the Confederate flag of the worst and clearest enemy of our union in our nation’s history.  I don’t want to be associated with their vision of the United States because I think their vision is in some ways anti-American.  Yet because they have somehow owned the microphone and are louder and more threatening than others, they also have now robbed me and many others of the flag itself.  Not of my commitment to the American dream for all.  Just the symbol.  I know I digress here, but because of the politicization of everything, they are related.  In the early 2000’s I considered leaving the pastorate because I was so sick of this dynamic.  In 2018 I was fired from a significant role within our former denominational region because I let them know I was going to officiate a same gender marriage.  It was a one day per week job that afforded my family a little breathing room in our budget, a little freedom to not worry about making ends meet each month.  I was also threatened to lead our church out of that region lest we be kicked out as others had been before us.  Nearly 20 years of friendship and leadership investment not just over but essentially excommunicated in a moment.  Do I regret it?  Absolutely not!  I am so proud of the Board of Stewards who unanimously supported me after weighing out what the decision would mean. Of course, the decision wasn’t really for or about me, but about genuine equality for all, and specifically for two of our own church family members who wanted to make their covenant in their church with their pastor officiating. It is a pride point.  I share the pain of it to simply note that I personally have plenty of reason to walk, to isolate.

     Yet I can’t walk away for a lot of good reasons.

     McLaren makes a compelling case to stay in his book, which can easily be understood through his chapter titles.  Why stay Christian:

·      Because Leaving Hurts Allies (and Helps Their Opponents)

·      Because Leaving Defiantly or Staying Compliantly Are Not My Only Options

·      Because... Where Else Would I Go?

·      Because It Would Be A Shame to Leave a Religion in Its Infancy

·      Because of Our Legendary Founder

·      Because Innocence Is an Addiction, and Solidarity Is the Cure

·      Because I’m Human

·      Because Christianity Is Changing (for the Worse and for the Better)

·      To Free God

·      Because of Fermi’s Paradox and the Great Filter

     Many of you know that when I was at a very low ebb in the early 2000’s, I used my doctoral work to help me discover if there was enough “there” there to remain in my career and the faith.  What I discovered – with conservative scholars in full agreement – was that the conservative expression of faith that dominates the airwaves, media, and still owns the publishing houses has so narrowly defined Christianity as mainly about sin management and heaven attainment that it barely resembles what Jesus was about.  What Jesus was about is as compelling, expansive, challenging, hopeful and healing as it ever was.  I have no problem differentiating myself from the extremely limited expression of Christianity that I cannot embrace.  I can easily let that go because it’s not really letting anything go!  It frees me to embrace Jesus and what he modeled and taught fully, proudly, empowering me to be bold in my proclamation of the faith. And adorn my neck once again with the cross that symbolizes the Way of Jesus.

     At the end of the Gospel of John, Jesus reinstates Peter into the inner circle.  Peter had denied even knowing Jesus three times the night Jesus was betrayed and arrested, which led to his death the next day.  Peter had given into fear.  He had lost his focus for a moment.  We all do.  Jesus didn’t wear a judge’s robe or strike a gavel.  He talked about love.  Who do we love most?  In our loving the Way of Jesus most, are we okay if it leads in the same way it took Jesus? Peter humbly said yes, even as he struggled with his humanity.  This Peter says yes, too.